he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
