I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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