how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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