My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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