walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
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