i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
