they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
