what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
