I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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