David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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