oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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