don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
