Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
