i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
