In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
