that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
