I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
