I hate all girls vehemently.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
