I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
