It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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