yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize