ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
