ugly people sure do ruin things
high people should be assigned attendants
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize