people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
