If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
