So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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