Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize