are you so shy because you have an std?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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