Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
