That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Where is the hickey?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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