none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I forget how to act sober
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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