we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
