This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we should paint friendship bongs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
