I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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