There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize