you didnt know i had herpes?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
