That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
