She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
