ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
