I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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