Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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