i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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