the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
