"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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