I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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