Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
