So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
