i think i have two assholes
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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