what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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