he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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