Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
