so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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