oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
