so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
