so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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