I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
