i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Acid is not a monday night drug
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
