That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
