just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
